When the Fighting Hits your Limit, you Must React.
Pull your car over to the side of the road. Stop the engine, turn around, and say, “I cannot drive safely with the noise and distraction from your fighting. Do you think you can stop?” Wait for a response. If you get an obligatory but insincere yes, and you see that the fighting seems on the verge of continuing, you may add, “I will wait until you are going to stop.”
Then pull out your book, rummage through your purse, but do not move, look back, or pay attention to the fighters. When the fight appears to have genuinely stopped, get going again. If it continues, pull over to the side of the road again. Stop the car, get out, close your door. Go to the rear passenger door, open it and say, “I will not drive anywhere while this loud fighting is going on. I am going to wait until you are done.”
Then stand by the side of the road, not looking at your children at all. Turn your back on the car. Breathe. Go through your wallet . . . anything. When it seems that things have calmed down, get back in the car and continue. Regardless of how late this action will make you, follow through. It gives your children a very clear message about what is and isn’t acceptable in your car.